Anger is a complex and difficult emotion for young children to deal with so having an awareness of anger management as an adult can really help. We need to help children learn how to recognise, talk about and manage their anger: not while they’re angry, but while they’re calm and happy in order to give them tools they can put to use when they really need them.
These free cards are available in Brazilian-Portuguese, Dutch, English, Estonian, Finnish, French, German, Icelandic, Romanian, Spanish and Swedish.
What works?
There is no ‘one right solution’ for anger management in children, as what works for one child may not work for another. That’s why learning how to calm themselves may be quite a long-term project, it takes time to try different methods and ideas.
Also, the level of anger may change the effectiveness of a strategy. For example, if they are just a little angry stopping for a cool drink might be effective, but if it’s a full-blown tantrum this might mean the drink is thrown across the room and they may manage better with a small, quiet, private space where they can talk to or cry with their favourite teddy.
3 simple steps toward anger management
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Identify their own emotions
In order to deal with anger it’s important for children to learn to differentiate between their own varying emotions, and the intensity of their feelings. Pop over to 10 Activities and 10 You Tube Songs to Explore Emotions for a good roundup of ideas. It’s one of the most popular posts on this site. If you’d like to use an emotions song based on 5 Little Ducks there’s a free video and lyrics sheet you can download here.
The level of intensity is also important. Children need to learn to recognise their own anger as it’s building to give them time to implement a strategy and calm themselves. Many suggest using an emotional thermometer. I have included a copy of this graphic in with the calming strategy cards download in case you find it helpful and would like to use it.
2. Teach calming strategies
During periods when your child is calm spend time reading about and talking about anger and other emotions, the effects they have and how we can learn ways to prevent ourselves from becoming really angry.
3. Practice, practice, practice
It’s great to practice these strategies while your child is calm or in a good mood, but it’s most important to actually see if they help during periods of mild to acute anger. What sounds like a good idea when you’re happy, may not work so well when temper rises. Be prepared to try different methods over a long period till you find a couple of strategies that seem to be the most effective for you.
Using these calming strategies cards
- talk to children about feelings of anger and different options that are available for cooling down
- prompt children to decide what strategies might suit them best, or what they’d like to try first
- remind or encourage angry children to make use of their chosen strategies
- remember: you or your child might think of other methods you’d like to try that aren’t included here!
After your child has decided what strategies they’d like to try, put those strategy cards somewhere nearby for an emergency reminder. If you have another strategy you want to use, write it on one of the spare blank cards and draw a related picture as a prompt.
Download here
Download these English 23 free calming strategy cards HERE.
- Brazilian-Portuguese: Thanks go to clinical psychologist Mariana Rebello for this translation.
- You can connect with Mariana on her website here.
- Dutch: Thanks go to Hilde Van Den Eeckhaut for this translation.
- Estonian: Thanks go to Riinika for this translation.
- You can connect with Riinika on the Estonian Teaching Community Facebook page.
- Finnish: Thanks go to Sanna Hemnell for this translation.
- French: Thanks go to Cécile Delrieu for this translation.
- You can request to join Cécile’ s facebook group here.
- German: Thanks go to Bettina Markones for this translation.
- You can connect with Bettina on her website KinderFocusing.
- Icelandic: Thanks go to Linda Ósk Sigurðardóttir for this translation.
- You can connect with Linda on Instagram.
- Romanian: Thanks go to Ana-Caterina Bedivan for this translation.
- Spanish: Thanks go to Marina Griñón for this translation. LARGE SPANISH PACK.
- Marina collaborates on a Spanish blog focused on autism. You can connect with Marina at El sonido de la hierba al crecer.
- Swedish: Thanks go to Sanna Hemnell (again!) for this translation.
How to calm an angry child
Pop over to this anger management post for more ideas on calming angry children. It’s from The Early Childhood Research Podcast so you can listen to the post if you prefer it to reading!
Looking for black and white cards? Or more variety?
You can find 185 Calming Strategy Cards in both colour and black and white in my TpT store. You can find the SPANISH VERSION HERE!
What methods do you find effective to help kids calm themselves? Let us know in the comments!
I still don’t see where I can download the anger management cards.??
Hi Diane, If you scroll up to the text just below the thermometer you’ll see some green or pink text that says ’23 free calming strategy cards HERE.’ Click on the coloured text and the document will immediately download to your device. I’ve added the word HERE because you’re right, it wasn’t very clear!
Liz,
I love the Calming Strategy Cards! Have you finished the black and white version?
Ann
Hi Ann,
I’m glad you love the cards. Sorry – I’m nearly there, but it’s taking me longer than expected (the holiday season is playing havoc with my schedule)! If you’ve subscribed to my newsletter on this blog I’ll mention when it’s finished there. Or if you follow my Teachers Pay Teachers store you’ll get a notification when it’s published. Thanks for commenting, it helps me prioritise when I know people are waiting for something!
Liz
Enjoy the holidays! I look forward to seeing the new product whenever it is finished.
Thanks so much for the calming cards. I just purchase the complete set from your TPT store. I have previously made some cards from the ideas in the book – A Volcano in My Tummy. I like the way you have sensory ideas incorporated as well.
I hope you get tons of use out of the cards, Fiona! And if you have suggestions to add, I’ll start making a list so the pack can be updated in future. A Volcano in my Tummy… I love that concept, books like this can be so helpful to kids when they’re learning to deal with emotions. I love using Trace Moroney’s Touch and Feel ‘When I’m Feeling Angry/Sad/Scared’ etc books with my really little ones.
These are fantastic! I’d like to include them as a parenting resource on our new website for parents who are raising kids with FASD (like me!) with a link and credit back to you if you’re okay with that. Great idea!
Hi Jenna, I’m so glad you like these and I’d love parents to be able to find these cards. You can put a picture of the cards on the website with a link to my blog so they can pop over and download them easily. But you cannot actually post the cards on your website for parents to download from there. Thanks so much for asking and getting clarification, it means a lot to me! Good luck with your website, I hope it becomes an awesome spot for parents to get information, ideas and support!
this is wonderful, thank you so very much. Am printing them out for my little guy ready for the new school term right now.
Huge thanks again,
Lou xx
I’m glad you like them, Lou. I hope the cards are a great conversation starter and that they help him find a strategy that works for him (well… for you both, really)!
Thank you.
Thank you so much Miss Liz
You’re very welcome, Mary Ann!
Identifying anger is the first step to managing it. Children, and a lot of adults, need to learn to recognize when they are mad. A lot can’t do that yet and they end up doing a lot they regret.
Very true, Sarah. If we can equip children with tools to help them recognise and manage their anger, perhaps this can help lead to fewer uncontrollably angry adults.
The link to download the cards is not working for me, are they still available? Thanks so much!
Hi Molly, I’m assuming you have clicked on the highlighted green link? Yes, they’re still available and I just downloaded them myself to do a double check! They do not pop up in another box for you to save, when you click the link the document goes straight into your downloads folder. Can you check to see? If you still can’t find it send me an email at lizsearlylearningspot@gmail.com
I really like this cards, and have done something similar in my own classroom, but used pictures of the children doing the activities they could use to calm down. I did want to voice a little concern over the term ‘anger management’. Children don’t necessarily have ‘anger management’ issues, and when they are having a rough time, it doesn’t mean that they are ‘angry’….it could be one, or a multitude, of other emotions…not just anger. These cards really are helping teach self regulation, and they are great!
Thanks for your comments, Katie! Using photos is a great idea. The whole process of taking photos of the kids and talking through how they’ll be used is an effective way of bringing up emotions and how we can learn to regulate them. And you’re right about the title… anger is just one of many emotions they might be feeling. Self regulation would be a more positive way of phrasing it.
Liz, I can definitely tell that you love what you do. I have spent a lot of time reading through your posts and they have been really helpful and given different insight into dealing with children and their anger. I will definitely be checking back, as my little one, sometimes I get overwhelmed with her (terrible twos), but I know you have the magic wand to fix it all. lol
Ha! Believe me, I’m no fairy godmother, Janene! But I’m very glad you’re finding helpful info and resources here. Just think, she’ll be three eventually and then all your problems will be solved lol!
so Attractive
Thank you for writing this post.
I have 2 students like this (in a class of 16) that have extreme issues with being able to self regulate their behavior. One I can handle, but one gets quite violent.
Thank you for providing free resources.
I have also listened to your podcast and have downloaded the others. Looking forward to listening to the others very soon!
Lexi, I do hope you have support at school (and at home) to help you as you work through this. Violent behaviours in a classroom of young children can be heartbreaking for everyone. Please know I’ll be thinking of you and I’m glad these resources can help even if it’s in a small way.
Also, I’ll be posting a new (free) board game on Thursday that asks children to mimic the faces of different emotions as they work their way around the board. If you’re talking to your kids about emotions you might find that helpful. The post title will be ‘Expressing Feelings on the Farm.’
Love your resources! I have had many anxious and angry students and really like your resources. One strategy I use is to allow an anxious child to take a break by giving me a secret signal or ask to go for a walk. Gives them control to solve their anxiety instead of letting it get the better of them. Another strategy I sue is to compare the little bad voice in their head telling to worry to a bully. And they need to be stronger than the bully and tell that voice to go away. I have little cards with the “negative voice ” (little devil cartoon) and the “positive voice”(little angel cartoon”. In our school we also have a calming space or quiet space in each classroom where a child can go. We keep things like colours, playdough, books, mirror, stuffed toy etc…. in that space.
Thanks so much for your comment, Linda. These are such great ideas. I love the secret signal! Next time I update the cards I’ll be sure to add cards to cover all these ideas. I’m glad to hear, too, that every classroom in your school has a dedicated quiet space. It’s so much more effective when there’s consistency across the classrooms so that all the kids know it’s OK to have to chill out for a bit – it’s not a punishment.
Thank You for the Estonian version! Best blogger i know!
Ha ha!! Thanks, Riinika, for your help with the translation. I hope your community gets lots of use out of them!
Thank You for Estonian cards! I am very happy!
Thank You for the Estonian version!
TERVITUSED EESTIST!
thanks
Many thanks for the Estonian version!
Thank you! It´s wonderful. I love Estonian version :). Greetings from Estonia.
Thank you Miss Liz.
Thank You, for these Estonian cards.
Aitäh, Liz!!!
Thank You for Estonian cards! I am very happy!
Thank You for the Estonian version!
Thank you! I love both versions – English and Estonian. I can use these cards with my language immersion students. I teach to russian children Estonian. Best greetings to You! 🙂
Thank you for the great work!
Very good idea. Warm greetings from Estonia.
Thanks for the Estonian version! Suured tänud! 🙂
Than you very much 🙂
You’re very welcome, Anabel!